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Frasier
on
his blind date: She's 32, has a terrific body, and apparently thinks I'm
God's gift to broadcasting.
Martin:
Well, at least you have one thing in common.
Frasier,
eyeing "the chair": Dad, when are you going to stop blighting the environment
with this monstrosity? My God, can't you see that it wants to die? Let
it go.
Martin:
You know, I keep having this dream where you're saying the same thing,
only I'm in the hospital and you're slipping the nurse a twenty.
Frasier:
Dad, that will never happen.
Martin:
Thank you.
Frasier:
I have medical power of attorney, it won't cost me a thing.
Niles,
entering with "the dog": We were in the neighbourhood for a pedicure and
a seaweed wrap and thought we'd stop by. Of course, the pedicure was for
-
Martin:
Stop right there, there's no way you can finish that sentence that'll make
me proud.
Frasier:
Niles, why would you even want to live in such a stodgy building? You know,
when I applied there, they treated me like I was riff-raff.
Niles:
Well, if you're going to ask and answer your own questions, what do you
need me for?
Niles
(about to introduce "the bird"): She's very exotic, she only eats every
other day, and she's so white she's almost blue.
Martin:
Geez, I'm gettin' nervous - that's what he said just before he introduced
us to Maris!
Baby:
I love you!
Niles:
I love you too, Baby.
Baby:
I love you, Grandma.
Niles:
She's still in transition from her last owner.
Niles:
They all have people. Their bills go to their people. I want them to think
I have people. I used to have people, but they were Maris' people.
Frasier:
Niles, if you keep this up, you won't even have the people who don't care
that you don't have people.
Frasier:
I've taken myself off the dating circuit. I was afraid I was getting desperate.
Niles:
Well, I was a bit concerned when you called to ask if Gloria was our first
or second cousin.
Frasier:
Roz was right - the moment I stop looking for the perfect woman, she lands
right in my lap!
Niles:
Well I hope you're comfortable with that arrangement, because that's where
she'll be seated Friday night.
Niles:
Which Elaine? Maris knows three Elaines.
Frasier:
Well, she's exquisitely dressed, very thin and dripping with attitude.
Niles:
Oh yeah, like that narrows it down. (peeks through the door) I was afraid
of that - it's the bad Elaine. Maris' oldest friend. Nothing would delight
her more than to report back to Maris that I threw a soiree with a cockatoo
on my head.