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Frasier:
[on
air] Er Russell, we're just about atthe end of our hour - let me see if
I can cut to the chase by using myself as an example. Six months
ago, I was living in Boston. My wife had left me, which was very
painful; then she came back to me, which was excruciating. On top of that,
my practice had grown stagnant, and my social life consisted of, of hanging
around a bar night after night. You see, I was clinging to a life
that wasn’t working anymore, and I knew I had to do something - anything.
So I ended the marriage once and for all, packed up my things, and moved
back here to my home town of Seattle - go Seahawks! [laughs] I took action,
Russell. And you can, too. Move, change, do something; if it's
a mistake, do something else. Will you do that, Russell? Will you?
Russell...? [to Roz] I think we lost him...
Roz: No, we cut to the
news thirty seconds ago.
Frasier: [annoyed; rips
off his headphones] Oh for crying out loud! I finally bare my soul to all
of Seattle, and they're listening to Chopper Dave's Rush-Hour Round-Up!
Frasier:
I am not a piece of Lalique! I can handle criticism! How was
I today?
Roz:
[turns
her chair to face him] Let's see...you dropped two commercials, you left
a total of twenty-eight seconds of dead air, you scrambled the station's
call letters, you spilled yoghurt on the control board, and you kept referring
to Jerry - with the identity crisis - as 'Jeff'.
Frasier:
[looks up] Oh I'm sorry Niles, I didn't realise you'd stopped talking.
Niles:
You haven't heard a word I said.
Frasier:
You're a psychiatrist, you know what it's like to listen to people prattling
on endlessly about their mundane lives.
Niles:
Touche.
And on that subject, I heard your show today.
Frasier:
And?
Niles: You know what
I think about pop psychiatry.
Frasier:
Yes, I know what you think about everything. When was the last time
you had an unexpressed thought.
Niles:
I'm having one now.
Martin: I spent Monday on the bathroom floor. You can still see the tile marks on my face.
Daphne: [surprised] Oh, hello - caught me with me hand in the biscuit tin! [takes her hand out and shakes hands with Frasier] I'm Daphne - Daphne Moon.
Daphne: I must confess... I'm a bit psychic.
Daphne:
Wait a minute! I'm getting something on you - you're a florist!
Frasier: No, I'm a psychiatrist.
Daphne:
Oh, well, it comes and goes. Usually it's strongest around my time of the
month... so I guess I let a little secret out there.
Frasier:
It's
safe with us. Well, Miss Moon, I think we've learned everything we need
to about you, and a dash extra!
Daphne,
turning to Eddie: You're a dog, aren't you!?
Frasier: Oh dear God, it wasn't a dream. I'll get him for this, and his little dog too!!
Frasier:
This paper has been read!
Daphne:
Well
don't worry, we won't tell you what's in it!
Frasier: If it wasn't biologically impossible, I'd swear that Dad was dropped in a basket on our doorstep.
Martin:
Well excuse me! When you invited me to move in, I didn't realize I had
to stay chained to the radiator in my room.
Frasier:
Perhaps only evenings.
Martin:
I heard that!